Some people are extremely focused, they want one or two things and they configure everything in their lives towards achieving those things. When I think about those people they may as well be from another planet because that ability seems so alien to me. There are things I want to achieve, that I day dream about, but 10 minutes later something else may have caught my attention and it’s forgotten about.
The only time that my attention seems to really focus is when there is trouble, if I’m out of money or if someone really needs my help, then as soon as the danger has passed my mind is back to hopping and skipping through the day. It is not an entirely unpleasant way to exist but it does make it difficult to make any real change in your life.
When I think of how I have grown to love working with the web it really is no wonder, it is the perfect playground for my childish attention span. If the internet itself is a drug then social media is like mainlining it straight to the vains. It is like having hundreds of people in the room with you tapping you on the shoulder saying ‘look at this, look at this’.
Recently I’ve been trying to cement my learning (picked up sporadically here and there) of front end development and create a set of starter templates that I could use to begin any new website. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t do anything else until I’d finished them. Today I finished them, but boy was it a battle along the way.
How I learned to focus on one thing at a time
Step 1 – stop giving yourself a hard time
If you give yourself a hard time for getting distracted you can stop right now. Some people are more prone to distraction than others, some people are better cooks than others, there is no failure inherent here, it’s just the way things are.
Step 2 – identify the things that tempt your attention
When you know what your weaknesses are you can begin to protect yourself from their influence. The obvious are email, phone and social media, the less obvious may be your own imagination.
Step 3 – see what you do and gently guide your attention back
When I was learning to mediate this was the advise I was given, when you notice your attention wondering, don’t get angry or frustrated, just acknowledge what has happened and come back to the focus point. The more we are able to do this the more we get to know the things that tempt our attention and the better prepared we can be.
But what about other people
Other people are by far the biggest sources of distraction and by far the hardest to control. Sometimes I wish I could freeze frame life, like pausing a movie, everyone else would stay still and I could run around getting everything done before life starts throwing things at me once more. I think we all feel like that at times, whether it’s coming from bosses or family or friends, people are always asking for our time. How do we deal with that?
I think sometimes it is fair to ask people to wait. People love to have our full attention, they deserve it but, if we are polite and explain that we are trying to focus on finishing something important and that they will have our full attention as soon as it is done, most of the time that will be enough. If the situation demands your immediate attention then that is ok too. Just stop what your doing, give them your full attention and when they no longer need you return to your task, just like in the meditation.
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